When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as non-binary, they’re thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents’ rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.
But Ben’s attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan’s friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.
Thank you to Scholastic for providing me with an earc! This book comes out on May 14.
Cover
I absolutely LOVE the cover. A lot of the time, the people on the cover don’t accurately represent the characters but the artist did a fantastic job with this. It’s probably one of my favorites of 2019. I’m also happy it’s an illustration and not real people.
Plot
The plot of this book was unlike I’ve ever read before. I can’t think of a book I read before with a non-binary main character and it was interesting to read about. I personally don’t have anybody around me who identifies as non-binary so I got to learn about that particular identity more from the book. I’m glad I got to read from Ben’s POV and see their struggles and how they overcame them. Even though I do not identify as non-binary, I did connect to Ben a lot in terms of struggling with depression/anxiety, going to a therapist, and dealing with parents who are just toxic. In those moments, I saw a lot of my 18 year old self (and even 21 year old me) in Ben. They dealt with a lot of the same things I did and yes, it was heartbreaking to read but I thought their story was very powerful.
I absolutely loved the romance in this book. Nathan is the cutest little thing and I’m so happy Deaver made it slow burn. I really felt something for the both of them by the time they got together and I was rooting for them to work out as a couple. I also really liked how Deaver handled the family issues, especially between Hannah and Ben. I’m glad that their struggles and guilt weren’t ignored and it was dealt with in a safe environment.
Characters
Ben is one of those characters I just want to hug and tell that everything is going to be okay. I was in a similar position as them once so, like I mentioned before, I really connected with them. I really like the way Deaver handled the issues Ben faced and that it took time for them to deal with everything. I think a lot of the time, especially in YA, problems like these are dealt with so quickly and the character doesn’t have time to develop. Ben is different, you can see his development throughout the entire book. They have their quirks that stick with them (as you see in the epilogue) but that’s what makes them special.
Nathan is a really wonderful person. I think he is exactly what Ben needs in a boyfriend and a friend. He’s patient and positive and brings Ben up. I would actually really love to know more about him and where he comes from. I would also really like to see Ben and Nathan like five or ten years into the future and get a glimpse of them all grown up.
I had to add Hannah, Ben’s sister, in my review because on some level, I connected with her too. She had a tough choice to make when she graduated high school and she chose herself (which is totally fine). I did something similar so I appreciate the way Deaver handled this issue and her leaving.
Overall, I really loved this book. I think it’s a beautiful story that everyone should read. I gave this book 4.5 stars, just because Deaver’s writing isn’t my favorite but I’m sure that’ll get better as time goes on. I will definitely be picking up their next book.
Check out Mason Deaver!
You can find I Wish You All The Best on Goodreads and Amazon.
The Amarna Movement 